Funny Quotes posted by a friend of a friend

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore, I am Perfect.

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

I'm having an out-of-money experience.

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch!

And, this is my favorite:


My short term memory is not as sharp as it used to be
Also, my short term memory is not as sharp as it used to be...



(Posted on FB Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 6:22pm)